Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Randomize
