put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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