K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
