Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
