As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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