I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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