'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
