Already got asked if we're dating
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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