So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
