My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
