i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
