I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
