Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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