My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize