yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
