so explain again why im purple
no
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
