this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
