Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
