i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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