check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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