we have officially lost it.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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