Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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