She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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