I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
