Got a toothbrush?
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
