last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
