Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
you win again, gameday.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I have post one night stand depression
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