i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
