i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
