I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
