K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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