You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
