That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My hand turned me down
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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