yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
