You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
