i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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