There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
