I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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