She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
