so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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