im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
