Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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