does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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