oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
