You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
