Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
