M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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