Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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