It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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