shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize