Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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