So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
