Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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