I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
he had hair everywhere except his balls
COCAINE IS GR8
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