moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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