if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
