This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
