I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
