are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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