I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
