You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
porn star boner night. come get it.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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