I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I enjoy the company of your penis
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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