I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize