I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
