And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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